


The End of Me

by vampire1317



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-28
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-16 10:05:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/860888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampire1317/pseuds/vampire1317
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A self-insert. How did I get to this strange world? Is there a way back? Will I survive? If I don't learn quick, hope may be a passing thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wake up call

**Author's Note:**

> I will say this once. Bioware owns all but me. Also no beta, so excuse mistakes.

The End of Me

I groaned as I opened my eyes. This was the headache of all headaches, is this what a migraine fells like? I guess there is a first for everything. Bringing my hands up to my head I attempt to rub it out. Nope, not working. I swing myself out of bed and shiver as my feet touch the ground. Cold, I don’t like the cold in the mornings. Heaving myself off the bed I stumble around the room. Where is that stupid bathroom? After a minute I manage to find the bathroom in spite of a hand still covering my face. Taking a peek at the mirror I chuckle. I look like a man with a hangover, even though I have never had a drink in my life. I looked myself in the eye. Blue eyes. I was the only one in my family with blue eyes. If I was lucky my future wife would have ice blue eyes. I would be able to look at them for hours. One problem though, I was a bit of a recluse and didn’t really have that much of a love life. I had only found two people I can say that I loved. The first one was when I was younger. I haven’t seen her in five years. The second one was already taken. We still became good friends though. I was sick of hurting myself so I stopped looking for love and became a recluse. My whole life summed up in a few sentences, how sad is that? I sighed, another day another dollar and school. I get ready as quickly as possible knowing that if I don’t hurry I’m not going to find a parking spot. If I find the person who thought it was a good Idea to sell twice as many parking passes as there were parking places, I was going to kill them. I hurry out the door and pass someone in the hall.

“Hey.” I mumble.

“Hello?” a woman said looking confused. After five steps I stop. That woman was blue. It looked like she had reptilian skin. I turn around and head straight to my room. Mentally I kick myself as hard as I can. How did I not notice? Opening the door to my room I walk in, it wasn’t my room. I scuff my shoe against the ground. Metal. My room had carpet that was a dark green. The room was twice as small as my room. My headache started getting worse. I massage the bridge of my nose. I sit down on the edge of my bed. Ok, this is the first time I have woken up somewhere I have never seen before. Was it something I did? Not that I can remember. Look around, what do I see? The room was small and compact almost reminded me of the army. I looked down at my clothes, not mine by far. They looked a little strange. But then my mind went back to that blue woman in the hall. A convention? Even that reason sounded weak to me. The only thing to do at this point is roll with whatever happens. I looked for my cellphone. Looks like I lost it, great. Wallet? Also lost. Not a good start to the day. Someone knocked on my open door. Turning slowly I see the blue woman standing there, a puzzled look still on her face. I gave her a little wave. She looked down at a small rectangle that she held in her hand. My driver’s license. 

“Are you Austin?” she asked. Her voice was a little soft but under that I could hear danger that she hid well.

“Yes.” I said carefully. She met my eyes with a smile. I searched them for any signs of malice. She has been through a lot. So much pain, so much she wasn’t ready for when she saw what she did. A calm mask. A mask. Slowly something else showed in her eyes. First surprise followed by understanding. I snap out of my search when she started talking.

“My name is Liara. We have run your prints, blood, and name through our database. Much to our surprise you don’t exist.” Liara leaned against the wall. “Being someone who is well informed, this is quite the feat. Tell me about yourself.” I sat there for a few moments. She waited patiently. I knew she wasn’t one to be on the bad side of. There wasn’t anything that I knew that someone would want me for. Must be an honest mistake.

“What would you like to know?” I ask.

“Where were you born?”

“Virgina.”

“Where is that?” I give her a strange look.

“On the east coast.”

“On the east coast of what?” Ok, something was going on and from the feeling in my gut it wasn’t good.

“Really? You don’t know?” she shook her head no. I let out a huge breath. “The east coast of the United States of America.” Liara cocked one eyebrow. 

“What is the date today?”

“September, um, 6th 7th or 8th”

“Year?” why was she asking me that? Something was very wrong.

“2012.” She nodded as if I just confirmed something she had guessed. She looked down at her arm like she was checking her watch. An orange glow enveloped her forearm. On a closer look it looked like a screen. Ok that was cool. The world’s advancements in technology never ceased to amaze me. 

“Ok, can you follow me?” I nodded and followed her out into the hall. I was so lost in my thoughts that after a few minutes I walked into something very solid. I fell to the ground dazed.

“Watch where you are going human.” A very rough double toned voice said. I laughed in my mind. Human, he said. Lay off the cigs man. Picking myself off the ground I see the man I ran into. Oh…not a man, or not human. It looked like it had twigs for hips. I held out my hand.

“Excuse me. I was lost in thought. Wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings. I’m sorry.” The other man, twig hips, looked surprised.

“Would you know it? A human that can think and has manners.” Twig hips took my hand. It felt strange. Not the fact that he was wearing gloves. It was the fact I only felt three points of pressure instead of five. I glanced down. Two fingers and a thumb. Strange. Twig hips saw the curious look on my face. He laughed.

“What? Never seen a Turian before?” he joked. 

“No.” I answered honestly. The Turian, as he called himself, stared at me with wide eye. I noticed I was still holding his hand. I let go quickly. Liara, who watched the whole exchange, walked up.

“We are almost where we need to be. Let’s go.” I smiled at Twig hips.

“Have a great day alright?” I said as I walked away. That feeling in my gut getting stronger.

“Uh, yeah.” He said. Liara and I walked in silence for a few moments.

“You handled that very well. Most humans would have gotten into a fight. So you never have seen a Turian.” She stated. “I am guessing that you have never seen an Asari then.”

“Nope. What’s that?” Liara started laughing.

“I am an Asari.” I could feel a flush creeping up my neck.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine don’t worry about it. Here we are.” I looked up at a glowing sign that said, ‘Welcome to C-Sec’. Liara motioned for me to sit down as she headed for the front desk. She spoke with the man there for several minutes. She sat down next to me.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“I’m trying to get a friend of mine to do everything from a psychological to physical test on you.”

“Alright…” I said unsure. We waited for several minutes before the man at the front desk called us. I followed Liara to what looked like a wall with a glowing green center. When we got close the green disappeared and two parts of the wall slid back with a hiss. Interesting door, I thought. We came to a smaller version of what we just went through. No matter where you are it is pretty hard to mistake an interrogation room. Complete with a table, two chairs, and a two way mirror. I do a mental shrug. That’s what it’s called right? A two way mirror or was it a one way? I walk in, Liara right behind me. 

“They are going to have you wait here while my friend gets here. I could take a little while so make yourself comfortable. I have to go gather some information. I will be back when the tests are done.”

I nod and she leaves. I sit down in one of the chairs they provided. There was nothing that I knew that anybody would want. Rather that somebody would be willing to torture me for. All they had to do was ask. Man! I heave out a sigh as a gut feeling started getting stronger. It slowly moved up. Oh crap! I was going to puke. I waited for my mouth to start watering, but it didn’t. The feeling moved up to my head. It was strange feeling, feeling something that was just, for lack of better words, a ball of sick. The moment it reached my head a sharp pain shot through it. To someone looking at me it would have looked like some unseen force had hit me square on the left cheek. 

I fell off the chair, the pain was so sharp and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it. Forcing myself to move I pulled my almost paralyzed body to the wall. After several minutes of body shaking pain it faded away. Shakily I get to my feet. That has never happened before. I make my way over to the mirror I check myself over. Everything looked good on the outside, no wait, my right ear. Blood. Blood started to ooze out of my ear. Never a good sign. Before I could even reach up to wipe it away vomit spewed from my half open mouth hitting the mirror. What vomit landed on the mirror was dark, way to dark yet bright at the same time. Was I losing my mind? No it was more blood. I know for a fact when someone starts vomiting blood that chances of them living are very slim. I locked eyes with myself in the mirror. I had a small smile on my lips. Well this is it. A pain sharper than before zipped through my head like lightning. As I fell to the ground I saw a hand appear through the glass. The body of a, what was it, ah, a turian followed. The turian kneeled by me as everything started getting darker. I looked at all the blood on the ground then my eyes moved to the turian. I give the turian a weak smile.

“That’s going to leave a mark.” I manage to get out before the dark consumed me.


	2. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again no beta

The Doctor that Liara had requested had been watching the whole time behind the mirror writing his observations of the human. The first time he saw the human’s head jerked to the side, almost as if something had hit him. Normally the Doc would have attributed that to a biotic amp. It puzzled him as to why the human was having the same problems. What puzzled him more was when the pain became so bad the human couldn’t stand anymore. A Turian officer moved to help but the Doctor stopped him. The human got to his feet with a lot of effort and made his way toward them. He stopped inches away from the mirror in front of the Doctor. Even though he knew the human couldn’t see him it looked like he was looking right at the Doc. Blood started leaking out of one of the human’s ears. Before anything else could happen the human vomited onto the mirror. It was more blood. Something caught the Doctor’s attention. The human had a small smile on his mouth. His head flinched to the side again but this time the human’s legs gave out. 

“Assist, now!” The Doc shouted. As the Doctor was shouting the Turian he had stopped earlier, he was already in motion. Before anybody could do anything his fist went through the glass followed by the rest of his body. A Human and another Turian jumped through the window after the Turian. The Doc went out the door to grab his bag. He made it back in the room just in time to hear the human finish muttering something before he passed out.

“What did he say?” the Doctor asked. The Turian looked up at him.

“I think he said ‘that’s going to leave a mark’” After a short pause the Doc chuckled knowing what the human was referring to. An orange glow covered the Doctor’s arm as he waved it over the human. Liara burst into the room.

“Mordin! What happened?” She asked the Doc. Mordin’s fingers moved in a blur in front of the orange glow for a minute before he answered.

“He is still bleeding. Needs surgery immediately. You two,” he said pointing at the two that followed the first Turian through the window. “Needs hospital. Move quickly.” They moved to comply. 

“What happened Mordin?” Liara asked again. Mordin motioned for her to follow. They all made their way to the nearest Shuttle. Setting the human in the back Liara squeezed into the front next to their Turian driver that punched out the window and Mordin got in the back to watch his patient. As the Turian started the Shuttle Mordin turned to Liara.

“Was very strange. Showed signs of biotic implant. Suddenly vomited onto mirror. Ran scan but confused by result. Ran scan again. Same result. He is suffering from Boerhaave's syndrome or Esophagitis. Strange ether way. Rather what he has is more extreme than both. The humans haven’t seen ether case in over a century.” Liara looked at him strange.

“Mordin I don’t know what that is.” She stated. The human started coughing. It was a sick and very wet cough.

“Blood is draining into his lungs.” Mordin stated. The Turian tapped Liara’s shoulder.

“To answer your question it’s Spontaneous perforation of the esophagus.” There was a moment of silence. The Turian spared a glance to see what the two were doing. Both were staring at him. Mordin blinked a couple of times.

“Correct.” Mordin stated.

“Why do you know that?” Liara asked. The Turian shrugged.

“Humans are the only race that doesn’t have any scales, plates, or tough hide of any sort. By all means it looks like humans are the weakest race, other than the hanar. But you hear about…”

“We are here.” Mordin inturupted. A Team was waiting for them as the shuttle landed. 

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I came to, to the sound of two voices talking. Their words, I couldn’t understand them yet. Where they talking to me? I kept my eyes closed trying to understand what they were saying. One of them sounded like a man that was talking to fast. The other a woman, ah, Liara. I was in a room then…what? Something happened to me. I remember pain. I remember my blood. I couldn’t remember what happened. I was in a bed most likely at a hospital. I opened my eyes only to shut them immediately. The glare of the light was just too much. I moved my hand to shade my eyes and opened them again.

“Ah, he is awake. Should have been asleep for another hour.” It sounded like the hyper man was next to the bed I was in. I moved my hand way as my eyes adjusted to the light. I found myself looking at another alien. This one looked almost amphibian with horns or rather one horn. The other seemed to be missing. “You gave us a shock. Reaction to the chip implant and radiation from mass effect fields. Humans haven’t had that reaction for about one hundred and fifty years. Lucky I was watching you.” The amphibian man said. 

“Indeed it was.” Liara spoke up. “This was the Doctor that I had requested. His name is Mordin . The best of the best as you humans put it.” I chuckled at that. I tried to say something but nothing came out. I tried again. Nothing. I looked at the Doctor for an explanation.

“ The medicinal nanobots have put your ability to speak in stasis for the next three hours as they repair your throat and adjust your body to the mass effect fields. Your reaction was fascinating.” I held out a hand and used my other hand to mime that I wanted something to write with. Liara and Mordin looked at me for a few minutes trying to get what I was trying to tell them. Mordin wordlessly handed me something that almost looked like an ipad with an orange screen. Taking it I looked at it with a blank look. I had no idea how this thing worked. I messed around with it for a couple more minutes until I figured out how to type a message. 

‘What happened to me?’ I wrote.

“Your body reacted violently to the radiation of the mass effect fields, like I said earlier. That reaction in essence shredded your throat. Fascinating, never seen that happen before. The pain you were feeling before was a combination of your body’s reaction to the translator we implanted. The radiation from the mass effect field affected that area the most. By the time the bots are done you should be back to normal.” Mordin answered. I nodded.

‘No longer than two to three hours right?’ Mordin nodded. ‘Got anything I can read while I wait?’

“Need to put you back to sleep. The bots work the best when host is asleep.” I looked at him for a few minutes then nodded. The orange glow appeared around his arm. No sooner had I seen it my eyes grew heavy. I fought it for as long as I could just for the heck of it. I lasted another eleven seconds before I couldn’t hold it back anymore and fell into a blissful sleep.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It seemed like it was only seconds before I opened my eyes again. It was dark in here, really dark. I blinked my eyes, something was wrong. I blinked them several times. 

“Could someone turn on the lights?” I called out. Hey I can talk again.

“They are on.” Mordins voice came from next to me. I jumped. I felt something being waved in front of my face. “Can you see this?”

“No.” 

“Reaction might be more serious than first thought, unless…how is your eyesight?”

“20/15 I last checked. But that was several years ago. I think it’s gotten worse.”

“Did you ever wear corrective lenses?”

“I did.”

“Did?”

“I got laser surgery on my eyes so I wouldn’t have to.”

“Ah, that explains your lack of eyesight. The bots are now healing your eyes and correcting them.” I felt him wave something in front of me again. “They will be finished in twenty minutes.” 

“While we are waiting lets go sightseeing.” I joke. There was a moment of silence. I heard light footsteps come into the room.

“Good, you are awake. Sightseeing is going to have to wait. I have a few questions for you.” Liara stated.

“Do any of them require visual acuteness?” Mordin quickly cut in. Liara paused. 

“No, Why?” 

“His ocular functions are being repaired.”

“Were his eyes damaged?” she asked puzzled. Mordin shook his head no.

“Just old methods of ocular correction.” Liara nodded. I closed my dark eyes. No point in keeping them open anyway.

“I need to ask you a few questions.” Liara stated.

“Alright, shoot.” I said. There was a moment of silence.

“Earlier you said that you were born on the East coast of the United States of America. Is that where you lived?” I tensed slowly. I thought she was going to ask me about how I got there if I remember anything but she didn’t. Only one way to handle this.

“Nope.” She waited for a moment expecting me to give her more information. I kept my answers short. Why was she asking me these weird questions about my personal life? She went on.

“How big was your family?” I opened my eyes in an attempt to look at her long and hard. My vision was coming back slowly.

“Why are you asking me these questions?”

“I’m building a profile of you to enter into our database.”

“Doesn’t a profile just include a description, likes, dislikes, and criminal history? Why do you need to know about my family?” A smile tugged a Mordin’s lips. Liara paused for only a minute.

“How old are you?”

“You have that information on my Driver’s license.”

“Are you playing hard?” I shrugged.

“I might be.”

“Why?”

“You are asking me questions you already know the answer to. What are you after?” A small smile graced Liara’s lips before she motioned for Mordin to follow her out of the room. Of course all I saw was one blue blob wiggle at a greenish blob before the blobs disappeared. I crossed my arms. That was weird in more ways than one. I am usually very open with people. I tell people to be careful what they ask because I will answer and they may not like it. I say that because as my mom always said I was too honest. Why was I stubborn then? That’s not like me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well a lot of ground covered in this chapter hope you are all keeping up. A slow start but the next chapter has some action in it. I promise (holds up hand) scouts honor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakdown ahead!!!

“I’m sorry Liara. I’m not like that usually. Ask me any question and I’ll be straight with you.” I said as soon as Liara and Mordin both came back. It had been a couple of hours. Lots of time to think, lots of time for my eyesight to come back. I had to close my eyes every now and then. It felt like I had just upped my prescription on my glasses when I had them. Its funny how your eyes can feel like an over worked muscle. Liara smiled. 

“I can ask you later. Right now we are moving you to a ship.” I glanced at Mordin. He was busy deactivating all the equipment around me. “To get you back to earth. The best place that we can find any information on you would be there. Lucky for us our ship is going that way.” I heaved myself out of the bed. Looking down I saw that I wasn’t in a hospital gown, brownie points for that. I noticed that they were both looking at me expectantly from the door.

“Right now, now?” I asked. Liara nodded with a puzzled look. Mordin just chuckled. A knock sounded on the open door behind them both. All three of us looked at the person. It was the turian that I had last seen before I found myself in the hospital. 

“Ready to move?” he asked. Mordin and Liara looked at me. I motioned for them to head out.

“I’ll follow you guys.” Everybody headed out into the hall with me in the back. When we hit the lobby two more turians joined our little group falling in line behind me. I sped up a little to walk next to the turian that grabbed us. He turned his head to give me a hard look.

“What?” I ask. 

“I was just about to ask you the same thing. Need something?”

“I just wanted to say thanks.” If the turian had eyebrows I’m sure one of them would have lifted. As such one of his pincer looking things lifted.

“For what?” now it was my turn to give him a hard look.

“For what you did back at the station. Thanks for help saving me.” he waved me off. 

“I didn’t do anything.” We passed a checkpoint before I said anything.

“You don’t think so but to me it means a lot. Thank you.” His pincers fluttered.

“Ya, well…” he trailed off.

“What’s your name?” I asked after what I was sure was an awkward pause for him. He chuckled.

“The translator actually can’t take my name. People just call me Mal.” I held out my hand.

“Nice to meet you Mal I’m Austin.” Mal took my hand in a firm shake.

“Nice to meet you too Austin.”

“Friends call me Jane.” I said before I could stop myself.

“What?” he said.

“Nothing, sorry, just a joke that didn’t work. Don’t worry about it.” Mal just laughed at how flustered I was. I shook my head and looked away from him only to stop in my tracks. There was a floating jelly fish and it was talking to another human. It almost looked like a Portuguese man-of-war. Laughing I turned away from the scene. We made good time to the ship. With every step on the way I felt a weight on my shoulders, on my mind, getting heavier and heavier the closer we got to the ship. I racked my brain trying to pin down what it was. Just before I was sure of what it was a hissing sound broke my train of thought. 

“Welcome back. The medical room is ready as requested.” A voice out of nowhere said.

“Thank you EDI. Heading there now. Please inform Shepard.”

“Request sent.” I looked around taking in as much as I could but it all seemed hollow to me. I knew that I could have spent days in this area learning all that I could. For some reason I was starting to feel like I didn’t care anymore. Anything could happen at that moment and I wouldn’t care. I knew I was starting to get depressed. From what I couldn’t say. Mordin was looking at me while tapping away at his pad. I knew he could see me getting depressed and had the thought if he even knew what that was. Before I knew it we were in a room that looked very medical in nature. Several beds and equipment I didn’t know what was for. Mordin stepped in front of me almost forcing me to look at him.

“I must report to the Commander. While I am doing that this women, Doctor Chakwas. Will run a full health exam.” The woman took Mordin’s place in front of me. She had that orange glow going as she waved her arm in front of me. As she stood there looking at her arm I started to piece my thoughts from earlier.

“Doctor?” I asked. She replied with a hum. “What is the year today?” she stopped what she was doing and looked me in the eye. I couldn’t believe what she told me. Over a hundred years in the future.

“EDI?”

“Yes Doctor?”

“Could you keep an eye on him? I need to grab some water before he passes out.”

“I do not have eyes but I will watch him.”

“Thank you EDI.” With that Doctor Chakwas left the room through some sliding doors. 

I sat there as the totality of the circumstances hit me. I was alone. I looked at the ceiling timidly.

“EDI?” I tried.

“How can I help you?” 

“Can you lock the door for me?”

“May I ask why?” I hesitated a moment.

“I think I’m going to have a breakdown. I need to be alone for a little while.” I watched the door not expecting the voice to do anything. The circle thing on the door turned from green to   
red. 

“Thank you.” I didn’t hear the reply. My mother, my family was gone. Dead for who knows how long. I started crying. I started laughing. I couldn’t stop. 

I was alone.

Everyone I loved was dead.

I was alone.

 

The Commander stood outside of the medical bay looking at the locked doors.

“EDI, why are these doors locked?”

“Because he asked?”

“Who asked and why?”

“The male human that Mordin has identified as Austin. He asked me to lock the doors as he said he was having a breakdown.” Shepard stood there a moment longer thinking about   
sedating the man. Chakwas walked up next to him with a glass in hand. 

“EDI unlock the door for me.” She said.

“Yes Doctor.”

“Wait,” Shepard said. “Give him a couple of days. If he does anything life threatening to himself or the others notify me at once. Clear?”

“Yes Commander.” EDI said. Shepard headed back the way he came.

“Now what am I suppose to do for the next two days?” Chakwas muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a little while huh? I now have a computer again so things are starting out slow but it is rolling again. I have always felt this chapter wasn’t done right so I took it down and redid it. I hope you like the direction this one is going better because it feels better to me.


	4. Chapter 4

A day and some hours later

“Commander.” Shepard held up his hand to pause the conversation he was having with Garrus in the cargo bay about getting some new weapons or mods at the least. They had just   
finished a simulation.

“What is it EDI?”

“You told me to notify you if Austin was causing harm to himself or the crew. He is currently starting to cut himself with one of the knives available.”

“Where is legion?”

\----------------------------------------------

I watch the blood run down my arm, fascinated by the sight but strangely numb. I felt the knife slice into my skin. I felt the pain. I felt the blood rush to the wound. I didn’t get the feeling of waking up that I thought I would. All I felt was numb. Hollow. I rested the tip of the knife against my thigh just so I could feel the pricking sensation. What I did feel was calm. The second thing I was hoping to accomplish. I found by accident that whenever I get hurt, enough to bleed a bit, I become calm.   
I never have thought of cutting myself before. I knew that I would relive the moment over and over again. A slow motion of the cut happening again. When I’ve been cut by accident, later I would swear that I could feel every fiber, if you will, getting cut. I knew this was the only way I could think of at the moment to help me focus. I twisted the knife gently around until I felt it pass though the fabric of my pants then lift it a little and repeat the process. The blood had stopped by now. I knew it would stop pretty fast. It was a shallow cut on the top of my forearm.   
Whatever had happened to me this was now my world. I had to find a niche in a place that I knew almost nothing about. Well at least they’re taking me to earth, a good place to start as any. Maybe I could even get some closure about my family.

“Human.” I jerked in surprise followed by a flash of pain. I just stabbed myself in the leg. I let go of the knife trying not to move it any more than was necessary. Looking at the opposite side of the med bay I saw a robot with one glowing eye just looking at me.

“You are injured, allow me to assist.” The thing started walking toward me with measured even steps. I could almost find a rhythm in them. I found myself forgetting about the pain while   
my whole focus was on this machine in front of me. Its eye focused on my leg. One three fingered hand rested on the handle of the blade. I flinched. It froze all motion. 

“Legion, what happened?” A man rushed into the room with turian and Mordin at his back. The robot named Legion stepped back when its eye saw Mordin.

“Commander Shepard, he stabbed himself when I made my presence known.” 

“He hurt himself as much as he could before you stopped him?” I saw Mordin smirk.

“No,” he cut in. “Legion surprised him. He has never seen a turian or asari before. I assume he was all that more surprised upon seeing Legion.” As he talked Mordin moved over to me. He ripped my pants to allow better access to the area around the wound. Before I could as much as blink he expertly withdrew the knife from my leg. As soon as the knife cleared my skin he lathered on an almost clear gel that immediately numbed the area. I watched in awe as my skin slow knitted itself back together. After about ten minutes all that was left was a scar and even that was starting to fade. 

“….can’t head to earth. A mission just came up as top priority. We are headed to Omega to meet with Aria to enlist her help.” Shepard was saying.

“Wait why would enlist Aria’s help be top priority?” The turian in blue asked.

“Normally it’s not but we missed one of our recruits on omega. I thought we might as well see if we can get Aria to help us when we get back from our mission past the omega four relay.”

“If we make it back.” Blue muttered. He threw his thumb over his shoulder at me. “What about him? It’s not like we can just take him with us.” 

“Going to have to. I want you to do what you can with him. I’m going to take him down to Omega with me to see if we can even use him.” With that Shepard spun on his heel and strode out of the med bay. The Turian mutter a few things to himself. I looked over at Legion and Mordin. Legion was studying me as far as I could tell. Mordin Put a hand on my shoulder, I felt a little prick.

“This is to monitor your life signs while Garrus is working with you.”

“Why?” I ask. My voice was rough from nonuse. He Smiled.

“Think of it as a remote physical.” With that explanation he walked over to Garrus said a few things then left. Legion was still studying me, hadn’t moved an inch. A little creepy to be   
honest. Garrus let out a huge sigh. 

“Human. What is your name?”

“It’s Austin.”

“Austin.” I never noticed but he was having a hard time saying my name. I wondered if all turians had trouble with my name. 

“You can call me Tex if you want.” He said it and it sounded like it slid off of his tongue a lot easier than my real name.

“Tex. Short, simple, and easy to say. Alright follow me Tex. Legion if you’re not doing anything, come with us.”

“Yes.” Legion said with a single sharp nod. We walked out of the med bay and in a few short steps were in front of the elevator. It took a few minutes but it finally arrived. After getting on   
Garrus tapped the bottom most rectangle on the right side if the elevator. The elevator started it’s decent. After a couple of minutes I got bored. 

“Is the ship really that big?” I wondered out loud.

“What?” Garrus asked.

“This is taking a little bit, is the ship that big.” Garrus chuffed. 

“No it’s just slow as a drunken Hanar.” There was a moment’s pause. “So Tex, you have anything you want to tell us about your people?”

“What?”

“Nothing.” He said waving his hand dismissively in the air. We sat in silence for the rest of the ride. I took the rest of the time to check out my ‘wound’. I say ‘wound’ because nothing was   
left. As if I didn’t even stab myself in the first place. I poked the previously afflicted spot.

“Medigel makes it possible to heal small lacerations, such as the one you suffered, fairly quickly.” Legion stated. I guess him studying me made it able to read my mind.

“Right. I Hope there are a change of pants for you in the hold.” Garrus voiced looking at the tear in my pants.

“In weapon locker 117. The pair of pants will be a little big but there is a belt available in locker 343.” EDI said out of nowhere. I looked around the elevator trying to find out how she   
heard or even saw our conversation. The only thing I could guess might be a camera was a small hole where the wall meets the ceiling on the right side of the elevator. 

The doors finally opened to the cargo bay. Garrus hung a right.

“Legion can you go get the belt?”

“Affirmative.” Legion headed left.

I followed the Turian so I could get my new pair of oversized pants on faster. He opened locker 117 and pulled out a pair of black cargo pants. I couldn’t help but smile. I love cargo pants.   
I was always told that people looked down on cargo pants or some bad vibe, social something. I think I was one of the few people that used all the pockets in my cargo pants I   
owned….used to own. Just as I started to get depressed again Garrus tossed me the pants. He looked at me expectantly. 

“Um, is there a place to change?”

“This is a military ship, now is a good time as any to break that sense modesty you have.”

“Why would it matter? From the way you were acting up stairs you don’t think I’m going to be on this ship very long.” I said a little defiantly.

“You’re right. Look at you. You have little if any muscle. You are a little flabby around your middle. I bet you can’t even run very far. I’m not going to babysit you.” I looked him in the eye,   
hurt by what he said. With his eyes I could see something very different from what he had just said. What he was really saying was he didn’t want another death on his hands. I met his eye   
as I took off my torn pants and put on the new ones as calm as I could. Legion came up behind me silently handing me the belt. The pants weren’t all the overly big but big enough if I was   
running they would eventually fall down. Once Garrus was satisfied that I was set he tossed me something. I caught it without any trouble. It looked like a pistol. Actually I’m pretty sure   
this was a real gun. 

“Why would you hand me a gun?” Blue motioned to the rest of the cargo bay.

“This is what Shepard wanted me to test you on. This is where we set up the simulator. You are going to go through several scenarios and tests. Your enemy is going to be the collectors.   
That is who we are fighting right now. That gun in your hand is the M-3 Predator standard issue pistol. It has fifteen shots before you eject the heat sink. You have six heat sinks in   
reserve. Since this is a simulation the only way to get more heat sinks is to pass your gun through one of the many floating ammo crates. You eject a spent heat sink by hitting the left side   
of the pistol. It will kick out the spent heat sink and load a fresh one automatically. This is true with any gun you use, keep that in mind. For these tests you will only use that pistol.   
Depending on how you do we may let you use some different guns, not likely. Your gun is a part of you. Take care of your gun and it will take care of you. The ammo you are using now is   
what we call stun rounds. They are not real. Now step up to this line, Legion come back by me for now. Shoot the drones until you feel comfortable.” I gave him a mocking salute.

“Right away Sarg.” I got into a comfortable position. “Ready when you are.” The drones started to spawn.

 

 

Up above Shepard looked down into the cargo hold watching Tex. He was a little slower then what he expected but once he got the hang of the gun he progressed rapidly. Especially with   
Garrus down there to coach him along the way. Chakwas stood next to the Commander in silence for a few more seconds before she broke it.

“Commander I still don’t think giving him access to weapons right after he just had a mental breakdown is a good idea.”

“Noted. I knew the moment I looked at him that he just needs to be kept busy.”

“Are you serious about keeping him on the crew?”

“The next few hours will tell.” After a few minutes he added. “To be honest I thought Garrus was going to teach him how to choose the right sniper.” Chakwas gave a little snort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here I am drinking my Apple-mango Martinelli and listening to all the random music my shuffle can mix up. I have gotten a couple of comments about getting a Beta. And those that have thought or left a comment are right. A Beta would help but there is one problem, my impatience. I tried a Beta once. It lasted a grand total of one day. I sent him the chapter, an hour later I was buggin him to finish it. He had just gotten to it. I said screw it and posted it after I read over it a couple of times. I find I want to post ASAP. If I don’t then I am going to forget about it. So that’s the story of why I don’t have a Beta. On a totally different thought, did anybody get some of the references I made?


	5. Maybe It's My Problem

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrus and I have some issues

The more I fired the gun the more I noticed that there was something helping me shoot. Not only could I fire off as fast as I could pull the trigger but there was something helping the gun stabilize. I never really knew how to shoot a gun correctly but with this aid I could get a really good grouping. By the looks of it I could get some great shots at range with the right additions. I was about to ask Garrus to make one of the drones stronger, to see how popping off all fifteen shots would go, when one of them broke off and came right at me. It was close enough that I didn’t really have to aim. After about four shots my gun clicked empty. In that second I had several thoughts go through my mind. My first thought was that Garrus had done something to this drone and the last thing that I would probably want is to be tagged by it. My second was the option that I could move to the right as I hit the eject/feed on the side of the gun. My last one was a thought that if anything I hit the gun with, pistol whip, in the right spot could cycle the eject and feed. I went with that last thought just to try it out.  
I set my body in motion with the ‘plan’, rather a theory. I switched the gun to my left hand as I ran to the right of the drone. As I got closer I could see that I made somewhat of a mistake. The drone was charging for a close range attack of some sort. The good news was that it was charging so I had one shot to try. One step more and I was in range. I brought my left hand up in a backhand motion, slapping the drone. The gun did indeed cycle. I was happy to find that out for future reference. The next thing I found out was that it actually didn’t take the drone that long to charge. An electrical field shot out of it in all directions. As soon as it touched me I dropped like a rock. My whole body locked up, I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. For a moment I wondered if this is what it felt like to get tased. When my body relaxed I expected to hear Garrus laughing. Which he was just not as hard as I thought he would. I caught his eye while I was on the floor. I could see amusement there but I could also see thoughtfulness. 

“Get up.” He said a little roughly trying to keep the amusement out of his voice.

“Can ya g-g-give me a s-sec. t-t-that’s-s the first time I’ve b-been ele-electrocuted.” I stuttered out. After a few minutes I got back on my feet very slowly. I walked around getting the feeling back in my feet, well body really. 

“Back on the line. Be ready for anything this time.” I held my hand up as I moved to the line.

“Alright, alright.” I thought through what else he could possibly do with the drones. I had to be honest with myself, I had no idea what he could do with those drones. Shaking my hands to relax them a little I got ready for the next round……..and promptly got shot in the back. I dropped to my knees hitting my fist against the ground. The best way I can think of describing this pain is as follows. It felt like getting hit with a frozen paintball at four hundred FPS point blank. Ya those of you that know what I’m talking about know it hurt like the dickens. I saw Legion start toward me but Garrus stopped him.

“Oh you dirty, scaly, lizard! I thought you said they weren’t real rounds!” I shouted though my clenched teeth. Garrus face never moved.

“Real enough. That’s a normal stun round that will be used in the simulation. From what I’m looking at right now you won’t last an hour in actual combat. I don’t know why Shepard is having me waste my time with you. You have no military training. You are a civilian. What can you do when the gun fire starts? Hide? Fall to the ground in pain telling them to wait a minute? You are a child in these things.” With every word he said I was getting angry. It’s hard to make me mad but when you do run for the hills. At this point I was mad I willed myself to my feet and stomped over to Garrus. Legion moved in intercept me but I pointed the gun at him.

“Say out of this canner!” Legion stopped with his flaps flared. I looked at the gun I was pointing at him and calmed down enough to toss it to him. I turned right back around and got in Garrus face.

“I could be the best shot you have ever seen. I could be the best fighter you have ever seen. Let me ask you, what’s the point? I could work until I am nothing but a puddle of blood and sweat on the ground but what is the point? You don’t want to be here. You don’t want me here. You think I’m just messing up everything that’s going on here. Maybe you are right. I could do the tough thing and do my best to make you respect me. What is the point if I can’t trust the guy fighting next to me? The one who is going to watch my back. What is the point if I can’t trust you? You are right. I’m just a child in all of this. Let me tell you one thing, I made up my mind long ago if there ever was a gun fight I would do whatever I could to get the gunman or men to focus on me. If there is one thing I fear it’s that someone died in front of me and I wasn’t doing everything I could to try and save them.” With that I headed to the elevator. I hoped he knew what I was talking about. I knew that I may not have been clear. At that moment I didn’t care if I was clear or not. He knew what I thought now it was up to him to decide what to do with it. I spoke my peace.

 

Legion looked over at Garrus “Canner?” he questioned. Garrus just shrugged his shoulders. After a few moments of contemplative silence both their omni-tools pinged. After reading the message they both headed to the elevator. One of them with his shoulders slumped.

 

I knew I had to be alone for a little bit. I stopped the elevator on the crew deck and headed right. After I entered the observation room I saw another blue woman with a blue glow about her. I was tempted to leave but I felt a sense of peace. It was funny the only other places I ever felt this was Inspiration Point (on Jenney’s Lake in Teton National Park), graveyards, and in a library. Trying not to disturb her I moved to a couch looking out into space. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the woman glance at me then go back to looking out the window. As my parents would say, it was time for some introspection.

I knew the way I acted back there was out of some past experiences I’ve had. For a couple of year of my life I was the target of bullying. During that time my dad wanted me to get into sports, so I did to make him proud. I was a junior high kid on a high school football team. Needless to say I only lasted one practice. The coaches wouldn’t stop yelling at me that I was no good and couldn’t do anything right. Now thinking back I’m sure that they put me in positions during play runs so I was the one that got deliberately tackled. I guess it all comes back to the fact that in every issue or problem I have had is centered around the fact that it feels like they are telling me I’m disabled. At a young age I was diagnosed with ADD. This has followed me around my whole life. I have even heard people say ‘It’s because he’s ADD’. I have never used any excuse to even hint that I couldn’t do something. Well don’t get me wrong if I could get out of doing chores then I would. But I never used the fact that I was “ADD” to do that. Maybe you see what I’m getting at maybe you don’t. 

Another elephant in my head was that Garrus was mostly right. Everything he didn’t say is what was making me angry. Not only at myself but the fact he could pick it out so fast. I knew that if I did the simulation I would keep getting better and better. The only problem is that it would be stuck to the simulator. I would never be able to pull a gun on a living creature. What Garrus said back there made it feel like everybody was looking at the frame but not that painting. If I was honest with myself I knew he was right. Unless I was threatened or was forced to, I could never pull the trigger on someone else. Let me be the first to say though that I love my guns and my rights. In spite of all that I could never even kill an animal without getting sick. He was right and I just blew up in his face. 

I don’t know why Shepard wanted Garrus to train me. He had plenty of fully trained bodies around. Putting a hand on my face I dragged down to my chin. Time to go and make up. As I left I swear I saw a ghost of a smile on the blue woman’s face.

“EDI where is Legion and Garrus?” (A/N: from here on out for the rest of this chapter I’m going to try and capture the way I really sound when talking. The T’s are usually silent if not really soft at the end of a word, for those of you who want to sound out how I talk. If you feel it takes away from the flow of the story drop a line)

“They are both located in the Captian’s quarters.” I waited a few seconds to see if she would tell me how to get there. Just as I was opening my mouth to ask she told me to get on the   
elevator and that she would take me to the floor, though in more flowery techno terms. When the doors opened again I could hear the Commander shouting at them through his door. Thinking back on it I should have been impressed, that door was about a foot thick. The door opened for me but the people in the room were focused on other things, obviously. 

“EDI just told me that he is coming up here. Most likely to tell me that he wants off at the nearest port! I hope you’re happy Garrus because you just got your wish.” Shepard was right in Garrus face. The way that the Turian stood showed his military background. From the way he was standing I could tell that he had been dressed down several times. On this ship or in his life I couldn’t guess. Legion turned his eye toward me.

“Shepard-Commander…” Legion was on the far side of Garrus so when Shepard’s eyes snapped to him he looked farther away from me.

“Your turn is coming! Our sniper here hasn’t answered me. What do you have to say for yourself?” Garrus squared himself but kept his gaze on the ground.

“I don’t want another pair of eyes looking at me when I go to sleep.” I saw the Commander’s eyes soften. Since I knew I wasn’t going to be on this ship much longer I decided to let my mouth run a little bit.

“Well there ya go.” All eyes turned toward me at the top of the small stair case. “I figured there was a past experience involved. Commander you assumed righ. I did come up here to tell you to let me off the ship as soon as ya can. Wait, Garrus was righ that I shouldn be here. The way he wen’ about it was wrong bu’ he had the righ reason. You should know that I can’ bring myself to kill anythin. I like to think if I was put in a situation that I could do wha I need to bu’ I don’ really know wha I would do. All I will be is a liability. From wha I can tell abou’ this ship that’s the last thing ya need.” I turned to leave the room.

“What if I want to take a chance on you?” I turned back around to face him, smirk on my face.

“I’m sorry Commander, I don’ swing that way.” Garrus snorted. The edge of Sherpard’s mouth tilted up.

“Funny, but that’s not what I’m asking.” 

“That’s your choice.” 

“Good. You fight Garrus.” I gave him a blank look. Garrus just glared.

“Me goin up against a trained killer? Tha’s no’ righ.” 

“I agree with him.” Garrus growled out.

“Good thing it’s my choice then.” Shepard said with a pointed look toward me.

“Walked intah tha’ one.” I muttered. “Well, if yer gonna make me do this I have one request.”

“I’m not making you do anything. Let’s hear it.”

“Like you don’t make us dive into a swarm of husks.” Garrus muttered. Shepard ignored him and motioned me to continue.

“I wan’ tah watch Garrus play a round or two in the simulator firs’.”

“Request granted.”

“Shepard-Commander.” I jumped. In the short time we talked I had forgotten Legion was there.

“Yes, Legion?”

“Shall I set up the normal targets?”

“No. Set up the full program. This is going to be the full experience.” 

“Commander, in order to do this we are going to have to divert most power to the simulation.” EDI piped up. 

“I know, inform all engineers of the change. The rest of you we are heading down to the Cargo Bay.”

“We are doing this now?” Garrus asked 

“Yes now. In order to finish this before we reach Omega we have to start now.”

 

The whole thing took about five hours to set up. Although most of the crew groaned and moaned about the extra work they all were looking forward to see the Drifter and the Sniper duke it out. Of course it was going to be a long simulation so everybody had a notification set up on their omni-tools for any action that could happen in the next long while. Shepard walked up to me while others set up a pair of cots.

“Change of plans, I know you wanted to see Garrus in action before you faced him but this simulation cut into that time. This is the ‘Real’ simulation. Everything that happens in there is going to ‘be’ real. You will figure out the simulation when you get in there. This is going to all be in your head, so to speak. You lay down on the cot, we put this ugly looking helmet on you, and you go into a simulation that we designed. This does take a lot of power so we don’t use it that often if at all.”

“Then why do it for me?” I asked. The Commander took a second before he answered.

“Let’s just say by the end of this simulation I will know if I want to keep you or not. If you are worth what I think you are.” I nodded. It didn’t quiet answer the whole question of what I was asking but I was satisfied enough. As Garrus and I lay down, Garrus asked the Shepard one last question.

“Two kills with one shot?” Shepard smirked.

“You could say that. Enough chit chat. Get those helmets on.”

 

The moment the Commander knew that the turian and the human were both out he walked back to the engineer watching the simulation.

“Is the Psych evaluation running?” He shot at the suited female. She just looked at him.

“Right my bad. What are they going to be doing?” She turned back to the screen in front of her.

“I thought it would be amusing to have the new guy chasing Garrus. The new guy will have four others with him. The program will base it off of whatever it reads from his mind. He has been chasing Garrus, or Archangel, for five years now. I have a few surprises in store for the both of them.” The suited woman answered. 

“Sounds good to me. The sooner we start the sooner we finish. Lets go.”

**Author's Note:**

> I know that this is all confusing just go with it and it should be sorted out in the next couple of chapters :D


End file.
